This week, General Motors sold Vauxhall-Opel to new owners PSA (or Peugeot Citroen). This move means PSA Group will soon be considered the second largest car manufacturer behind Volkswagen.
It suddenly dawned on me that if these manufacturers worked together they could quite easily turn out the worst car of recent times. I think it would go a little like this.
Imagine a car with the distinct lack of involvement we’ve come to expect from a modern Vauxhall, that ropey gear change, the fly by wire steering.
Now drop into the mix a plasticky Vauxhall interior but with the naff try hard quirkiness you get with some modern Citroens.
Powering the car would be the three-cylinder, naturally aspirated PureTech engine from PSA. A fine unit in a lightweight car, but a painful, torqueless exercise in restraint in anything larger than a Peugeot 108. Of course, this car would be a lot larger and heavier than that.
Add to the recipe one of Vauxhall’s horrible gearboxes, which never manage to come close to that of a Ford.
Then there’s the styling, which would combine the worst bits from Peugeot’s gawky 208 with the wannabe ways of Vauxhall’s Adam. To top it all off you’d need the excessive plastic from something like the Citroen Cactus.
Finally, provide the questionable quality and disgraceful residuals of a modern Peugeot and you have the makings for a car so horribly shite even MG wouldn’t put a badge on it.
Still, I’m glad Vauxhall has been pulled from the clutches of Struggling GM, which hasn’t turned a profit since before the millennium. But let this be a warning of potential things to come.